So, those around me know that it’s one of my base issues that I *HATE* being alone. I am an introvert trying hard to be an extrovert. It fills a base “need” in my life.
But, our society likes to act like you cannot find any happiness with other people until you are happy by yourself.
Well, I call this utter bullshit.
Imagine this in another way. Does anyone say, “You cannot live with oxygen until you learn to live without it”. Of course not. Most people know you cannot live very long at all without oxygen. All humans need a comfortable level of it to survive. Any intelligent person would not tell someone with asthma “Just breath normally, there is plenty of oxygen in the air”. Some people do not get what they need normally and need a little help.
The same holds true with human interactions. Some of us need more interaction to get by than others. Just because you can live like a hermit does not mean it’s right to assume everyone else can.
It’s a shame that David Bowie died. But I think it should be a reminder to us all to do what we want in life.
“I really had a hunger to experience everything that life had to offer, from the opium den to whatever. And I think I have done just about everything that it’s possible to do” – David Bowie in an interview with The Telegraph
“I don’t know where I’m going from here, but I promise it won’t be boring” – David Bowie to his audience at New York’s Madison Square Garden in 1998
Well, he certainly didn’t bore us.
These were both printed on my 3D printer this morning. Same feed rate, same plastic, same temperature, same nozzle diameter.
So when the one on the left started coming out “weird” I thought the printer must be broken somehow.
What I finally realized happened, is that I had changed the nozzles recently. From the .3mm one to the .7mm one. The part on the right was printed with the larger nozzle and printed fine. But after that print I went back and changed some of the settings in the slicer and created another gcode file. It set the nozzle back to the .3mm setting and gave me the part on the left by only extruding half the plastic it should have.
Moral of the story? Double check ALL your settings if something looks wrong. 😀
So, someone I know just bought a Windows manual for 80$.
Yep, the good old paper copy “book”. I cannot stop wondering why.
What could possibly be worth so much, that is not already online?
Feels like just a blatant marketing gimmick to get people to spend money for outdated information.
So, I’ve mentioned this a few times and some people give me the “WTF?!” reply. They don’t grasp how an extrovert can be shy.
Being an extrovert just means you don’t like being alone. It doesn’t mean you have good social skills or you lack anxiety. It doesn’t mean you’re “good” at getting along with people.
I’ll give you an example.
Tonight I went out to a bit of a party. I dressed up, and when I left I thought that I looked really nice. Didn’t have any worries on the walk all the way there.
I arrived and there were about 40 people in the space. Some soft music was being played. Tons of conversations were already going on.
And as I looked around the realization hit me in the face like a cold fish, “I know none of these people”.
Suddenly they were all far prettier than me, happier than me, more self-confident than me, or on the arm of someone to support them. My overwhelming feeling? I didn’t belong there. I was old, ugly, and not looking happy. (The last one I know was true, the first two were anxiety.) I tried to talk to someone and it ended up extremely awkward, which threw more gasoline on the fire. Normally I can actually handle a decent conversation. I’m sure nobody there thought I was crazy.
So after a few minutes trying to see if there was some way to feel more “in place” and failing, I left. I spent all of ten minutes there.
On the walk home I was upset, ashamed, scared.
And that my friends, is what happens when you’re an anxious and shy extrovert. You end up back home where you don’t want to be because while it sucks to be alone, it’s not terrifying.
You wait and try to find people that understand and can put up with the little quirks, and you rarely if ever jump in the pool without them.
A quote from the head of technology at the architecture firm i’m working for. It was in response to me asking about timelines and deadlines relating to technical work on support tickets. (IE. They can wait.)
I’ll get right to the point. The recent takeover of a federal building in Oregon is terrorism.
Just because they are white and wearing cowboy hats and not dark-skinned wearing turbans makes no difference. They are threatening violence to intimidate people into meeting their demands.
The FBI definition is as follows:
“Domestic terrorism” means activities with the following three characteristics:
– Involve acts dangerous to human life that violate federal or state law;
– Appear intended (i) to intimidate or coerce a civilian population; (ii) to influence the policy of a government by intimidation or coercion; or (iii) to affect the conduct of a government by mass destruction, assassination. or kidnapping; and
– Occur primarily within the territorial jurisdiction of the U.S.
Let’s stop acting like it’s just a simple “protest”.
Can you believe this was on a building in downtown Spokane, WA? And a rather expensive high-class building of lofts, not a slum.
Sometimes, it is exceedingly annoying when you want things from the universe.
Things you might be able to have, but only if you compromise who you are.
Tonight I was at a boardgaming event. The weather was bad, there were 8 people there. I left them to play 2 4-player games. Partly because I don’t like very long games and hoped they would run their games faster with only four players. Then I would game with whoever was there.
One group left after two hours, the other was still playing their game at that time. I decided it was time to go then as well because it had started raining. One gentleman showed up in that time but immediately left.
Now, I’ve become a little less of a bitter martyr lately. So I sat and played my android games while I waited. No harm, no foul. I should note that I ended up just sitting around the week before rather than get in on a 7-person game that also took the entire evening. Perhaps this group isn’t for me. *shrug* Such is life, right?
When I left I said goodbye to the group that remained. And one of the gentleman chastised me for just sitting there. Saying that I needed to get more involved.
In other words, “You need to change who you are and how you interact if you want to play here”.
I explained that I was new, somewhat shy and didn’t like long games.
He reacted as if I was whining.
And, you know what? It pissed me off. Patience is a virtue. Imagine that, right? I sat by and waited, and somehow because nobody showed up and things have not worked out he thinks he can lecture me?
Yep, i’m male, so of course I just need to yank self-confidence out of thin air and get used to how the world functions! And somehow people think they have the right to act like they are my father if I don’t, even if i’m not complaining or even asking them for help. (Kind of like someone thin lecturing someone fat on how they should lose weight. We wouldn’t stand for that shit, why would it be acceptable to lecture me on this shit? How about a nice cup of “shut-the-fuck-up” asshole.)
Yep, I want the world to work differently. I go out and sit around and hope people talk to me. Is that a fucking crime? Is it wrong to wait for the strong assertive people to take an interest in me? Of course not. It’s not going to get results 99 times out of 100, but it’s not fucking “wrong”.
And yet, somehow, people think I can just flip a switch and be “someone else”. (Yep, take these drugs, they’ll make you someone that we want around us!”. Jesus, talk about fuckin peer pressure, right?)
I’m not taking crap from the universe anymore.
And i’m not letting people get away with this shit anymore either.
Lately something has really been annoying me.
I recently went to a concert, and was frisked when I came in.
Not for weapons, they didn’t care about my pocket knife.
Nor for electronics, they let me in with my digital camera, cellphone and hotspot.
Not for misc strangeness either, as I was wearing a chainmail shirt and belt and they let me in with those.
Or the charging cables, earplugs, medicine, coins tricks…
What they were looking for, was food. And they went through all of my little belt pouches to find it. In the end I was forced to throw away the two energy bars that I carried around.
Because, or course, they wanted me to buy their very overpriced food.
The concert was already expensive, 70$ per ticket.
But they wanted to make me destroy 5$ of my property to get in. (I walked from home, 20 minutes, I couldn’t just “put them in the car”. And they had already scanned me in.)
That irks me. Why do we allow businesses to have such strong controls over things? Do we seriously give up that much of our rights to what we do with our property?
It’s pathetic that we allow profit in such wasteful ways.
Headed out again tonight to see what Downtown Spokane had to offer.
Most places were closed, the remaining options were deserted. I guess last night was kind of a fluke for a weeknight.
Oh well, can’t win them all I suppose.
My new OKC tactic of a well-thought-out and self-admitted cut-and-paste friendly greeting has gotten it’s first positive response!
“Thank you for your message. As cut-and-paste goes, it’s far superior to the others I get.”
Since, well, OKC is the black hole of messaging for men, heh.
So, I decided I wanted to get out. But that I should go looking awesome. So I broke out the chainmail.
It didn;t get much attention. I had a drink at an Irish pub, and was wandering home when I saw this place with people in it. (Most places were empty or closed on a Monday) I also noticed that this woman at a booth inside had noticed me and pointed me out to her friends.
**OPPORTUNITY KNOCKS!** I thought and headed in with a big grin, then headed straight to their table while I saw her watching me and mouthing “OMG! He’s coming this way!”. Damned right I did, LOL.
Went right up to their table and said “I’m not that awesome, really!” and conversation ensued. Several other people from the bar came over to talk about the chainmail too.
I eventually had a seat and got a grilled cheese. They also made me a very sweet “old fashioned” cocktail which I thought was pretty good. (The place is The Observatory in Spokane. Only their first day of being open. I hope they stick around.)
It was a very enjoyable evening. From now on i’m going in armor all the time. It’s a totally bad-ass ice breaker and it’s like wearing liquid confidence. 😀
So, the house I want got another cash offer. $15k below my top offer. And they took it. Because the dumb-ass seller wants a fast close. But, chances are it will fall through too because this will be an expensive house to make into a rental.
11-7-2015, and it looks like the second offer did not fall through.
I happen to have a very openly Christian friend. I told them I had moved to Spokane last weekend and that I was searching for an apartment. “Ouch why did you move without a place to live” I could not help but reply with, “Heh, the Christian girl asks the Atheist why he took a leap of faith. LOL”
So this morning I got a note from my realtor.
The house I wanted that I got outbid on is back available again. The bid was from an out-of-state investment buyer. He decided that to change the house the way he wanted it to be would cost too much.
Which means i’m going to throw my offer back in again! 😀
Wish me luck!
I have to say, Spokane does NOT suck.
Coming from the Seattle Freeze into Spokane is like stepping through the mirror into wonderland.
Not even in town 24 hours I got invited to a movie premier where people were SO friendly and welcoming.
Thank you so much!
If I had known people here were this nice I would have moved here years ago.
So, today I started at 6am. With my mother helping to pack the remainder of my apartment I spent the morning loading a 20′ u-haul truck. Then I put the minivan on a can transport and started the long drive out of Seattle.
I arrived just barely in the nick of time and with the help of Clan Geraghty I emptied the truck and returned it, ending at midnight.
It’s been a crazy hectic day, but it’s finally over.
So, it’s official. I am moving from Seattle to Spokane. Life has been hectic to say the least as I get all my loose ends tied up here.
So I have a friend. And they spent so much money on their new gaming computer that they can’t afford to eat.
This saddens me.
In a forum that is now defunct 5 years ago a gentleman with the handle “Jason in TN” said the following: “5 years from now this oil spill will be nothing but a memory.”
Well, I hate to say it, but he was wrong.
So, I have my internet service through Comcast. And they want to up my rate exponentially after the first year promotion is up. But i’m having none of that. So I called in a month ago to make sure the service will be cancelled,
“We cannot issue a stop order more than a month out”
Ok, I can believe that, so I called today saying I wanted service to end August 1st. The gentleman said,
“You will have to call back July 27th or later to do that”
Yeah, bullshit. I said “You mean 4 days is the window to stop service?”, “yeah” he said with some hesitation. “How about you go check on that, Sir, I believe you are mistaken”, I said with an exceedingly clear and firm tone.
After a few moments on hold he came back and changed his tune. Uh huh….
My guess is the harder they make it the more people end up just missing the date and paying another month.
A few quotes I stumbled into. Needless to say he’s one of my heroes.
If this does not appeal to you sufficiently to recognize in me a discoverer of principles, do me, at least, the justice of calling me an “inventor of some beautiful pieces of electrical apparatus.
There is no conflict between the ideal of religion and the ideal of science, but science is opposed to theological dogmas because science is founded on fact. To me, the universe is simply a great machine which never came into being and never will end. The human being is no exception to the natural order. Man, like the universe, is a machine. Nothing enters our minds or determines our actions which is not directly or indirectly a response to stimuli beating upon our sense organs from without.
We build but to tear down. Most of our work and resource is squandered. Our onward march is marked by devastation. Everywhere there is an appalling loss of time, effort and life. A cheerless view, but true.
All that was great in the past was ridiculed, condemned, combated, suppressed – only to emerge all the more powerfully, all the more triumphantly from the struggle. Let the future tell the truth and evaluate each one according to his work and accomplishments. The present is theirs, the future, for which I really worked, is mine.
So, my job description is very heavily skewed towards the “stockroom” aspect of my job. The only line of it that mentions repair work is the following:
“Clean and make minor repairs on power tools and other equipment and advise users on cleaning and minor repairs of used stock, supplies, and equipment.”
Note the word “minor”. What exactly is a “minor repair”?
If i’m replacing the drive shaft on a 24″ bandsaw is that a “minor repair”? Something tells me the answer to that is “no”.
But you see I *CAN* do it. But should I? I’m not getting paid very well for what I do, but I have been doing any and all repairs that have crossed my desk.
Is this just the protestant work ethic of the USA rearing it’s head? Should I ask my boss what constitutes a “minor repair” and sit on my hands when anything bigger comes along? They can just take it out of the repair budget, which is not really very big in the first place. Which means most things will probably not get fixed.
So I was listening to NPR this morning. And they were talking about how Los Angeles is voting to raise it’s minimum wage to $15 per hour.
Of course they had the usual experts there talking about how jobs will be lost because the money has to come from somewhere.
And I call bullshit.
You have people at the top of business, in all sectors, taking home insanely massive paychecks. And as a society we allow that to be subsidized on the backs of the poorest workers while complaining that they can’t make money without slave wages.
Frankly, i’m sick of this shit. Rather than a minimum wage I propose a “maximum wage”. No person can be paid more than half a Million dollars per year in net pay, bonuses and stock.
If you need more than half a million dollars per year to maintain your “standard of living”, then fuck you for being a greedy pretentious prick. The excess will be taxed and a substantial share of it distributed to those at the bottom of the economic ladder.
It’s past time to keep paying the insane salaries of the feudal lords from the blood, sweat and tears of the peasant masses. The system is a sham. We need to break out the torches and pitchforks and take back equality.
I found this article the other day. It talks about how isolation affects the human mind. In particular I found the following paragraphs very meaningful:
There is no more poignant illustration of the power of solitude to sink one person while lifting up another than the stories of Bernard Moitessier and Donald Crowhurst, two of the competitors in the 1968 Sunday Times Golden Globe round-the-world yacht race. The trophy, offered to the first sailor to complete a solo non-stop circumnavigation of the globe, was won in 313 days by Robin Knox-Johnston, the only one out of nine starters to finish. He seemed to relish being alone with his boat, but not as much as Moitessier, an ascetic Frenchman who practised yoga on deck and fed cheese to the shearwater birds that shadowed him. Moitessier found the experience so fulfilling, and the idea of returning to civilisation so distasteful, that he abandoned the race despite a good chance of victory and just kept on sailing, eventually landing in Tahiti after travelling more than halfway round the world again. “I continue non-stop because I am happy at sea,” he declared, “and perhaps because I want to save my soul.”
Crowhurst, meanwhile, was in trouble from the start. He left England ill-prepared and sent fake reports about his supposed progress through the southern seas while never actually leaving the Atlantic. Drifting aimlessly for months off the coast of South America, he became increasingly depressed and lonely, eventually retreating to his cabin and consolidating his fantasies in a rambling 25,000-word philosophical treatise before jumping overboard. His body was never found.
What message can we take from these stories of endurance and despair? The obvious one is that we are, as a rule, considerably diminished when disengaged from others. Isolation may very often be the “sum total of wretchedness”, as the writer Thomas Carlyle put it. However, a more upbeat assessment seems equally valid: it is possible to connect, to find solace beyond ourselves, even when we are alone. It helps to be prepared, and to be mentally resilient. But we shouldn’t underestimate the power of our imagination to knock over prison walls, penetrate icy caves or provide make-believe companions to walk with us.
Different people, handle different things, in different ways.
This sums up well why I feel so much rage and disgust with my father and his new family.
I feel that I lost a brilliant caring man that was my father to a spiteful, judgmental, and patriarchal attitude.
So I have decided to build my own Tardis.
But, after looking over all the existing designs from the series I concluded that none of them matched what I wanted. So, I am going to combine the aspects of each into what I want.
It’s not really like there was ever only *one* design after all anyway, lol.
So, we have learned this morning that the copilot of this flight intentionally crashed it.
Which would not have been possible if he had not been able to completely lock the pilot out of the cockpit.
Which is something that was enabled after 9/11.
So, do you feel safer now? I sure don’t.
Had to rebuild the hot end from scratch, but it seems fine now. Hoorah!
Looks like my printer is dead for a week while I order some new fuses. At which time I can try to figure out what is broken on it that keeps blowing fuses.
After begging for some help online it looks like it’s going to cost me $170 to fix it. Not having a good week here….
When I get ready to move again one of my top priorities will be high speed internet.
And by that I mean faster than Comcast or Centurylink DSL. Something TRULY high speed.
My Trekpod tripod staff came with rubber feet on the tips, well that’s nice for hardwood floors or carpet but not so great for wilderness or rough concrete. So I took 3 stainless bolts and ground the heads off of them.
|.Come battle in a world.|
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