Random Access Memories

April 6, 2009

The Cartoon Rating Guide for Smart Adults

by @ 8:08 am. Filed under Personal

Reposted here because I don’t see this version on the web anywhere.

The Cartoon Rating Guide for Smart Adults: v3.0 4/24/2008

Why watch cartoons if you’re an adult? Because cartoons often have the best scores, most interesting plots and/or most humorous dialogue, and the most accomplished “cinematography” of any visual media. The best are stunning works of art and imagination with gorgeous matte landscapes.

This is a rating guide, not a review book — its purpose is to quickly alert you to animation you may never have heard of; consult elsewhere for extended analyses. It is skewed from the perspective of an adult animation fan — a lowly-rated show may be immensely enjoyable for children and even well-made, but couldn’t captivate my attention; a highly-rated show will be competently-made, but may or may not be enjoyable for or even marketed to (or even appropriate for) children. If a show has English-language versions, those are the versions I have likely watched. A cartoon with great writing and voice-casting but average animation will score higher on this list than a show with top-notch animation but mediocre scripting and voices, or an extremely well-made show marketed to children.

This list covers mainly animated television series, although some films are included, and one “webtoon”. I have not seen every episode of some shows rated 7 and lower and many episodes of shows rated 5 or lower; indicated ratings may change if I see new episodes of better or worse quality than those previous, or if many better or worse other shows are added to the list which alter the bell-curve landscape. Note: There are literally hundreds of mediocre-to-terrible shows that are not presently on this list, including a lot of uninspired anime and older “dumbed down” cartoons of low or no interest to the smart adult; I haven’t created this list to exhaustively include them all.

Anything rated at least “5” is in the category of “average show worth watching once for the cartoon buff, provided you have time”; you probably won’t watch re-runs, however, until a decade or three have gone by. A typical “5” cartoon features arch-type characters and villains, with serviceable if unexceptional dialogue, animation and plots. “4”s and lower feature too much bad animation, one-dimensional characters, lousy voice-acting, plot-holes, dumbed-down or just plain stupid writing and spastic slapstick for this adult reviewer to stomach — although kids will like many of them. “3”s and lower will have the smart adult scrambling for the remote. “6”s and “7”s feature more charismatic characters, more innovative drawing and intelligent scripting than average, and anything rated “8” or better is likely to pull you in to watching a re-run while you’re channel-flipping, even if it’s well-memorized already. Anything rated “9” is truly exceptional, and perfect in nearly every way. “10”s are reserved only for those shows which, IMO, will become or already are timeless classics. “11”s are simply phenomenal; you’ll feel empty inside after finishing the last episode and realizing that there aren’t any more. Highly-rated shows generally have unique and memorable musical scores associated with them. Make an effort to see every “9” and up before you croak, and most 7s and 8s.

Q. Where do I find the latest CRGFSA?
A. It is always posted within a torrent; try searching here: http://tinyurl.com/2oxsn4

– “11” – a rating which is off the 1-10 scale. Incomparably great.
– “3D” indicates an obvious computer generated style as opposed to a 2D drawn artwork look.
– “adult” indicates overly lewd sexual references and/or repetitive foul language. Some adult-oriented cartoons are witty parodies or taut thrillers, but most are extremely cheaply-made rancid, brain-dead trash.
– “adventure” means the main characters are perpectually on the move.
– “cards” means the show is a marketing vehicle to sell trading cards; most of these involve children with strange monster pets or summoned creatures who fight each other.
– “comedy” describes humorous shows that are neither toons nor spoofs.
– “DCAU” refers to the “DC Animated Universe” created by Bruce Timm and Paul Dini.
– “east” denotes an overtly oriental-themed cartoon, often involving samurai or ninjas, or emphasis upon martial-arts or medieval-period Japanese or Chinese clothing and settings. This guide does not otherwise distinguish between cartoons and “anime”.
– “educational” shows frequently deal with ethical, historical or geographical aspects.
– “family” indicates a show with very broad appeal; it isn’t specifically written for any age group, and is neither “dumbed down” nor “sophisticated humor”.
– “fantasy” indicates the presence of magic or “chi” and/or spirts, gods, ghosts, demons, undead, fantastic animals, etc, but the setting is in an otherwise more or less realistic world.
– “flash” is cheap-looking computer animation of mostly moving cut-outs and vector-scaling.
– “Ghibli” indicates the acclaimed Japanese animation studio, or anything prior involving its founders Hayao Miyazaki and Isao Takahata.
– “girl” indicates the presence of important female protagonists.
– “kids” means the show is appealing to small children (whether or not dialogue is dumbed-down). Virtually all kids shows are also comedies if not toons.
– “Mainframe” refers to Mainframe Entertainment, a pioneering 3D animation company.
– “mecha” indicates giant robots. Most mecha also includes sci-fi elements.
– “movie” means a single, stand-along show, regardless of whether it played in theaters.
– “realistic” indicates real-world physics are observed, nobody has superpowers, and animated characters are essentially like real people and don’t take inordinate risks, speak “one-liner dialogue” or “mug for the camera”.
– “scary” means weird monsters may frighten very small children and give them nightmares, even if it’s a comedy otherwise popular with kids. I afix this term only to shows marketed toward family or children’s audiences (I take it for granted that teen- and adult-oriented shows are filled with imagery guaranteed to frighten toddlers, especially anything rated “violent”).
– “sci-fi” shows are set in the future, or concern exotic technologies such as space-travel.
– “series” means plots span multiple episodes and even seasons (so they are best watched in order); lack of this term doesn’t mean, however, that all of a show’s episodes are “stand-alones”.
– “spoofs” parody cultural or other-show references which younger persons are less likely to be aware of; a kid’s cartoon which is also a spoof is likely to drag up this reviewer’s rating due to intelligent writing. On the other hand, a spoof’s gags tend to be topical in nature, and the humor may fall flat with the passage of time.
– “superhero” means some characters have extraordinary abilities or “mutant” powers which permit them to cheat real-world physics which others have to obey in an otherwise more or less real world. While many cartoons feature characters who trend in this direction, superheroes are invariably costumed protagonists who are famous for their abilities. Superhero shows often include sci-fi elements.
– “toon” means real-world physics are expressly NOT observed, animals talk, characters have “three fingers & thumb” hands, gravity is defied until noticed, etc. Many competently-made toons have lowered ratings in this guide due to emphasis on slapstick antics and marketing toward children.
– “violent” means there’s realistic-consequences combat with injuries and blood, and/or on-screen death, and the show is usually inappropriate for small children (the lack of this term, however, doesn’t mean that a show lacks fighting). A show labelled “violent” does not necessarily contain violence in all or even most of its episodes.
– “ultra-violent” shows so wallow in gore that many would consider them completely depraved.
– “WMT” indicates Japan’s “World Masterpiece Theater”.

(Like the amplifiers in “This is Spinal Tap”, the Cartoon Rating Guide now goes to 11!)

11 – Cowboy Bebop – series, adventure, sci-fi, violent, girl (English language version)
……..The greatest sci-fi cartoon series of all time. Nothing else is even close. Nothing else even tries. More recent shows may have flashier graphics (barely), but none capture the heart, the soul, the soundtrack, the rich variety of settings, and especially the quality of writing and characterization.

11 – Persepolis – movie, girl, adventure, realistic, educational, adult
……..The mesmerizing autobiography of acclaimed author Marjane Satrapi. Banned in Iran.

11 – Romeo’s Blue Skies – series, family, adventure, realistic, WMT, educational
……..Schools should be replaced with vid-screens looping this show. Children (especially boys) will learn about everything important here: Life, death, respect, values, integrity, initiative, creativity, empathy, education, courage and purpose.

11 – Whisper of the Heart – movie, girl, family, realistic, romance, Ghibli
……..While their fantasy advantures are all very good, this is Ghibli’s most satisfying and polished work.

10 – 3000 Leagues in Search of Mother – series, family, adventure, realistic, WMT
10 – Adventures of Prince Achmed, The – movie, family, fantasy, girl, adventure
10 – Avatar: The Last Airbender – series, family, fantasy, adventure, girl, east
10 – Fairly OddParents, The – toon, spoof, kids
10 – Future Boy Conan – series, family, adventure, Ghibli, girl, WMT
10 – Kiki’s Delivery Service – Ghibli, movie, family, girl, fantasy
10 – Laputa (Castle in the Sky) – Ghibli, family, movie, adventure, girl, sci-fi
10 – My Neighbor Totoro – Ghibli, movie, family, kids, girl, fantasy, adventure
10 – Nadia: The Secret of Blue Water – series, family, girl, violent, adventure
10 – Oban Star-Racers – series, adventure, sci-fi, girl
10 – Popeye: Aladdin and His Wonderful Lamp – toon, family, fantasy, movie-short
10 – Samurai Champloo – series, spoof, violent, adventure, adult, girl, east
10 – Venture Bros., The – adult, spoof, violent, sci-fi

9 – Batman, The Animated Series – superhero, DCAU
9 – Batman Beyond – superhero, DCAU, sci-fi
9 – Beauty and the Beast – movie, Disney, fantasy, girl, family, scary
9 – Danny Phantom – comedy, fantasy, girl, superhero
9 – Eureka Seven – series, mecha, violent, sci-fi
9 – FLCL (Fooly Cooly) – series, comedy, girl, sci-fi, fantasy
9 – Grave of the Fireflies – movie, drama, realistic, violent, Ghibli
9 – Invasion America – series, sci-fi, violent, adventure
9 – Kim Possible – comedy, girl, Disney, superhero
9 – Lupin III (or the Third, English version) – comedy, adventure, girl, spoof
9 – Megas XLR – mecha, spoof, girl, fantasy, sci-fi
9 – Mysterious Cities of Gold, The – series, kids, adventure, girl, fantasy, educational
9 – Pom Poko (The Raccoon War) – Ghibli, movie, fantasy
9 – Porko Rosso – Ghibli, movie, adventure, girl, fantasy, family
9 – Prince of Egypt – Disney, fantasy, movie, musical
9 – Princess Mononoke – Ghibli, movie, fantasy, adventure, violent, scary, girl
9 – Sea Prince and the Fire Child – movie, toon, fantasy, girl, romance
9 – Spirited Away – Ghibli, family, movie, fantasy, girl, adventure, scary
9 – Superman, The Animated Series – superhero, DCAU, girl, family
9 – Teen Titans – spoof, superhero, DCAU, girl, family

8 – Akira – movie, sci-fi, violent
8 – American Dragon Jake Long – kids, superhero
8 – Ben 10 – kids, comedy, sci-fi, girl, adventure
8 – Cat Returns, The – movie, Ghibli, fantasy, girl, family
8 – Courage the Cowardly Dog – toon, family, spoof, scary
8 – Full Metal Alchemist – series, fantasy, violent, comedy, east, sci-fi
8 – Futurama – adult, spoof, sci-fi, toon
8 – Gargoyles – fantasy, violent, scary, girl, Disney
8 – Gauche The Cellist (Sero Hiki no Goshu) – movie, Ghibli, family, fantasy
8 – Ghostbusters, Extreme – fantasy, scary, comedy
8 – Ghostbusters, The Real (seasons 1-3 only) – kids, fantasy, scary, comedy
8 – Heavy Metal – movie, fantasy, sci-fi, comedy, violent, adult, girl
8 – Howl’s Moving Castle – Ghibli, movie, girl, fantasy, violent
8 – Iron Giant, The – mecha, comedy, family, movie
8 – Jackie Chan Adventures – family, fantasy, girl, comedy
8 – Justice League / Unlimited – superhero, sci-fi, DCAU
8 – Kamichu: Teenage Goddess – series, fantasy, girl, east
8 – Lilo & Stitch (movie, TV show) – kids, sci-fi, comedy, girl, Disney
8 – Martin Mystery – sci-fi, comedy, scary, girl
8 – Mulan – movie, fantasy, girl, Disney
8 – Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind – Ghibli, movie, girl, fantasy, adventure, sci-fi
8 – ReBoot – toon, fantasy, spoof, 3D, Mainframe
8 – Rocket Power – kids, comedy, girl, educational
8 – Rocky & Bullwinkle Show, The – kids, spoof, toon
8 – Secret of NIMH, The – toon, adventure, violent, movie, Disney
8 – Shadow Raiders / War Planets – series, sci-fi, girl, 3D, violent, Mainframe
8 – Static Shock – kids, superhero, DCAU
8 – Valhalla – movie, kids, fantasy, girl
8 – W.I.T.C.H. – girl, fantasy, comedy

7 – Batman, The – superhero
7 – Beastwars – series, sci-fi, fantasy, mecha, 3D, Mainframe
7 – Big O, The – mecha, sci-fi, violent, girl
7 – Bleach – series, fantasy, violent, comedy, east
7 – Case Closed (Detective Conan) – family, mystery, adventure
7 – Daria – girl, comedy, realistic, adult
7 – Death Note – fantasy, violent, series
7 – Dexter’s Lab – kids, toon, spoof, sci-fi, girl
7 – Ghost in the Shell, Stand Alone Complex, 2nd Gig – series, sci-fi, violent
7 – Infinite Ryvius – series, sci-fi, drama, girl
7 – Invader Zim – toon, kids, spoof, sci-fi
7 – InuYasha – series, east, violent, fantasy, girl
7 – Juniper Lee (The Life and Times of) – spoof, girl, kids, fantasy
7 – Kappa Mikey – spoof, toon, girl, flash
7 – Korgoth of Barbaria – adult, spoof, fantasy, ultra-violent
7 – My Dad the Rock Star – kids, toon, comedy, girl
7 – My Life as a Teenage Robot – kids, toon, sci-fi, spoof, girl, superhero
7 – Naruto – series, east, violent, girl, fantasy, comedy
7 – Outlaw Star – series, sci-fi, comedy, girl, adventure
7 – Pinky and the Brain – kids, toon, spoof
7 – Popeye – toon, family, spoof, girl
7 – Powerpuff Girls, The – kids, toon, spoof, girl, superhero
7 – Robot Chicken – toon, spoof, adult, violent
7 – Rock & Rule – movie, fantasy, sci-fi, girl
7 – Samurai Jack – kids, sci-fi, superhero, adventure, east
7 – Scrapped Princess – series, fantasy, sci-fi, girl, adventure, scary
7 – Shuriken School – kids, toon, spoof, girl, east
7 – Star Wars: Clone Wars – series, sci-fi, fantasy, adventure, violent
7 – Superman Doomsday – movie, superhero, violent, DCAU(?)
7 – Time Warp Trio – kids, fantasy, adventure, educational
7 – Trigun – series, sci-fi, violent, comedy, girl
7 – Tutenstein – kids, toon, adventure, girl

6 – A.T.O.M – kids, superhero, sci-fi
6 – Aeon Flux – series, sci-fi, ultra-violent, girl, adult
6 – Afro-Samurai – series, east, adult, ultra-violent
6 – Aladdin – kids, toon, fantasy, Disney
6 – Blu Gender – series, sci-fi, mecha, ultra-violent, drama, girl
6 – Chip ‘n Dale Rescue Rangers – toon, kids, Disney
6 – Chop Socky Chooks – 3D, toon, spoof, girl, east
6 – Dragon Booster, kids, fantasy, 3D
6 – Duck Dodgers – toon, spoof, sci-fi
6 – Escaflowne – series, fantasy, mecha, violent, sci-fi
6 – Fafner in the Azure (Dead Aggressor) – series, sci-fi, mecha, violent
6 – Get Ed – toon, kids, sci-fi, 3D, girl
6 – Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy, The – kids, toon, spoof, girl
6 – Hercules – kids, fantasy, superhero, comedy, Disney
6 – Hobbit, The – fantasy, adventure, family, movie
6 – Johnny Bravo – toon, spoof
6 – Legion of Superheroes – kids, superhero, sci-fi
6 – Mar – toon, fantasy, comedy, east
6 – Martian Successor Nadesico – series, mecha, girl, comedy, sci-fi
6 – Ninja Scroll – movie, adult, ultra-violent, fantasy, east
6 – One Piece – kids, toon, adventure
6 – Paranoia Agent – drama, violent, comedy
6 – Replacements, The – kids, spoof, girl, Disney
6 – S-CRY-ed – sci-fi, mecha, superhero, east
6 – Silverwing – series, kids, scary, adventure
6 – Skyland – sci-fi, adventure, girl, 3D
5 – Storm Hawks – kids, 3D, adventure, sci-fi
6 – Super Robot Monkey Team Hyperforce Go! – kids, toon, mecha, superhero, scary
6 – Tenchi Muyo! – series, fantasy, girl
6 – Legend of Tarzan – kids, toon, girl, adventure
6 – The Tick – toon, kids, spoof, superhero
6 – Thunderbirds – series, adventure, comedy
6 – Totally Spies – comedy, girl
6 – Winx Club – girl, fantasy, comedy
6 – Witch Hunter Robin – series, fantasy, girl, violent
6 – Wolf’s Rain – series, fantasy, violent, sci-fi
6 – Xiaolin Showdown – kids, toon, fantasy, comedy, east
6 – Zeta Project, The – kids, girl, superhero, sci-fi, DCAU

5 – As Told by Ginger – kids, girl
5 – Beast Machines – series, sci-fi, fantasy, mecha, 3D, Mainframe
5 – Beavis and Butthead – toon, adult, spoof
5 – Berserk – series, adult, ultra-violent, fantasy
5 – Blue Submarine #6 – series, sci-fi, realistic, violent
5 – Buzz Lightyear of Star Command – kids, toon, sci-fi, Disney, 3D
5 – Cartoon Planet / Space Ghost Coast to Coast / Brak Show – spoof, adult, superhero
5 – Digimon – kids, toon, cards, adventure
5 – Dr. Who: Infinite Quest – movie/series, sci-fi, 3D
5 – Dragonball Z – series, east, violent, fantasy, cards, comedy
5 – Duck Tales – toon, Disney, kids
5 – Duel Masters – kids, cards, spoof
5 – Dungeons & Dragons – kids, fantasy, scary
5 – Gigantor – kids, mecha
5 – Gokusen – series, adult, east
5 – Goof Troop – kids, toon, Disney
5 – Gotham Girls – series, girl, superhero, DCAU, flash, webtoon
5 – Gundam Wing – series, sci-fi, mecha, violent
5 – Hey Arnold! – kids, comedy
5 – Horus, Prince of the Sun – movie, Ghibli, fantasy, adventure
5 – Johnny Quest, Real Adventures of – adventure, girl, fantasy
5 – Justice League: The New Frontier – movie, superhero, sci-fi, violent
5 – Metalocalypse – adult, spoof, ultra-violent
5 – Mobile Suit Gundam – series, mecha, sci-fi
5 – Phantom 2040 – series, superhero, sci-fi
5 – Proud Family, The – toon, Disney, spoof, girl
5 – Recess – kids
5 – Record of the Lodoss Wars – series, fantasy, violent
5 – Reign: The Conqueror – series, fantasy, violent, adult
5 – Rocko’s Modern Life – kids, toon
5 – Sailor Moon – series, kids, east, girl, fantasy, cards, comedy, sci-fi
5 – Scooby Do, Where Are You? – kids, toon, comedy
5 – Samurai Deeper Kyo – series, fantasy, violent, east
5 – Sandokan – kids, toon, adventure
5 – Shinzo – series, kids, fantasy, cards, east, sci-fi
5 – Speed Racer – adventure, series
5 – Spongebob Squarepants – kids, toon, spoof
5 – Swat Kats – kids, toon, fantasy
5 – TaleSpin – kids, toon, girl, adventure, Disney
5 – The Future is Wild – kids, adventure, girl, 3D
5 – The Secret Show – kids, spoof, sci-fi, superhero
5 – The X’s – toon, sci-fi, flash
5 – Time Squad – toon, spoof, kids, educational, sci-fi
5 – Timon and Pumba – kids, toon, Disney
5 – Trinity Blood, Blood Plus – series, vampires, ultra-violent
5 – Wild thornberrys, The – comedy, kids, girl
5 – Willy Fog (various shows) – kids, series, toon
5 – Wizards – fantasy, movie, violent
5 – Xyber 9 – mecha, sci-fi, series
5 – Wayside – kids, toon
5 – Yakkity Yak – kids, toon
5 – YuYu Hakusho – series, east, girl, fantasy, comedy
5 – Zatch Bell! – series, kids, cards, comedy

4 – Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius, The – kids, toon, 3D
4 – American Dad – spoof, toon
4 – Animaniacs (without Pinky and the Brain) – kids, spoof, toon
4 – Beyblade – kids, east
4 – Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo – toon, kids, spoof
4 – Blue Dragon – kids, series, fantasy, sci-fi, east, cards
4 – Camp Lazlo – kids, toon, girl
4 – ChalkZone – kids, toon, girl, fantasy
4 – Chaotic – kids, toon, fantasy, girl, cards
4 – Chowder – kids, toon
4 – Class of 3000 – kids, comedy, sci-fi, girl
4 – Codename: Kids Next Door – kids, toon, girl
4 – Corneil & Bernie – kids, toon
4 – El Tigre – kids, toon, flash
4 – Emperor’s New School, The – toon, kids, Disney
4 – Family Guy – adult, spoof
4 – Fantastic Four – superhero
4 – Fillmore – kids, toon, comedy
4 – Foster’s Home for Imaginary Friends – toon, kids, fantasy, flash
4 – Growing up Creepie – girl, fantasy, comedy, flash
4 – Idaten Jump – kids, toon
4 – Johnny Quest (original) – kids, adventure, violent, sci-fi
4 – Kong: The Animated Series – kids, fantasy,
4 – Legend of the Dragon – toon, superhero, girl, east
4 – Little Einsteins – toon, kids, girl, adventure, educational
4 – Little Mermaid, The – kids, toon, fantasy, Disney, girl
4 – Lord of the Rings (Fellowship, Return of the King) – fantasy, movies, violent
4 – ¡Mucha Lucha! – kids, toon, superhero
4 – Mummy, The – kids, adventure, scary
4 – N.A.S.C.A.R. Racers – kids, 3D
4 – Pepper Ann – girl, Disney
4 – Pokemon – toon, kids, cards
4 – Pucca – kids, toon, girl, east, flash
4 – Rugrats – kids, comedy
4 – Shin Chan – comedy, adult
4 – South Park – toon, adult, spoof
4 – Special Duty Combat Unit: Shinesman – sci-fi, comedy
4 – Super Milk-chan Show, The – toon, kids, spoof
4 – Thundercats – kids, fantasy, girl
4 – Voltron – mecha, sci-fi, kids
4 – Yin Yang Yo! – kids, toon, Disney, spoof, east
4 – Yugi Oh! – kids, toon, cards

3 – Aqua Teen Hunger Force – toon, adult, spoof, flash
3 – Dora the Explorer – kids, toon, educational, girl
3 – CatDog – kids, toon
3 – Dragon Tales – kids, toon, fantasy, girl
3 – Ed, Ed & Eddy – kids, toon
3 – Grossology – kids, toon, flash
3 – Flintstones, The – kids, toon, girl
3 – G.I. Joe – kids, violent
3 – He-Man & Masters of the Universe – kids, fantasy, superhero
3 – Inspector Gadget – kids, toon
3 – Kenny the Shark – toon, kids
3 – Krypto the Superdog – toon, superhero, kids
3 – Lucy, Daughter of the Devil – adult, toon, 3D, flash
3 – Magic School Bus – kids, fantasy
3 – Mike, Lu & Og – kids, toon, girl
3 – Moral Orel – adult, toon, 3D
3 – My Gym Partner is a Monkey – kids, toon
3 – Prince of Tennis, The – series, girl
3 – Spider Riders – fantasy, kids
3 – Spiderman – superhero
3 – Superfriends – kids, superhero, girl
3 – Superman: Brainiac Attacks – kids, movie, superhero
3 – Top Cat – kids, toon
3 – Tracy McBean – kids, toon, girl
3 – Transformers (several shows and movies) – toon, mecha, sci-fi, (some 3D)
3 – Ultimate Avengers – movies, superhero, sci-fi, girl, violent

2 – Amazing Chan Clan – kids, toon
2 – Captain Planet – kids, toon, superhero
2 – Chuck Norris Karate Kommandos – kids
2 – Frisky Dingo – adult, spoof, violent, flash
2 – Home Movies – toon
2 – Jabberjaw – kids, toon
2 – Little Bear – kids, toon
2 – MaggieBeast – kids, toon, girl
2 – Sealab 2021 – adult, spoof, flash
2 – Xavier: Renegade Angel – adult, toon, 3D

1 – Assy McGee – adult, toon, violent, flash
1 – Gary Coleman Show – kids, comedy
1 – Squidbillies – adult, toon, violent

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