Random Access Memories

December 25, 2013

A solid signal that my desire to leave the USA is justified.

by @ 7:25 am. Filed under Personal

So this quote was mentioned to me recently:

“It is understandable that the perspectives of men and women on safety are so different–men and women live in different worlds…at core, men are afraid women will laugh at them, while at core, women are afraid men will kill them.”
– Gavin de Becker, The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence

And it struck me, this is true. And it shows that this issue is relative, not universal. This is something that is based on culture, change your nation or region and you change your culture. Levels of violence in Iceland for example are radically different than those in the USA.

I can’t fix the level of violence in the USA unfortunately, but I can decide to run from it.

3 Responses to “A solid signal that my desire to leave the USA is justified.”

  1. MK Says:

    I too, wish there was a place to go where disharmony and violence between the sexes was less or non-existent.

    However, I still agree with the writings of Shulamith Firestone, a Canadian born feminist, who wrote in the Dialectic of Sex: The Case for Feminist Revolution (1970):
    “Feminists have to question, not just all of Western culture, but the organization of culture itself, and further, even the very organization of nature. Many women give up in despair: if that’s how deep it goes they don’t want to know.”
    “The end goal of feminist revolution must be … not just the elimination of male privilege but of the sex distinction itself: genital difference between human beings would no longer matter culturally.”

    (Interestingly, she suggested a possible remedy for future consideration: all human reproduction to occur via in vitro conception and artificial gestation. When children are ready to live without the artificial gestational support, they would then be sent to communes to be reared. She characterized the act of human birth as “barbaric”.

    She believed that as long as women are classified on the basis of their physical differences from men, especially with regard to childbearing, this dichotomy that is based on sex would be the root of conflict of humanity, even if other distinctions that provide the justifications for violence between humans were eradicated (e.g. race, tribe, class, nation, religion, etc.).

    So, following this line of thinking, other than living a sex-separatist community, at this time, there seems to be nowhere to go to avoid this conflict. And there is no guarantee that cultural attitudes would be developed sufficiently in a separatist community, allowing it to avoid assigning stereotypical gender-based roles.

    But if you find a place, we want to meet you there! 🙂

  2. Lasivian Says:

    That is true MK, but I think perhaps I did not make my point clear. I will elaborate.

    I am continually afraid that I am just trying to run away from myself. That my issues will just follow me wherever I go. I recognize now that at least some of them will not.

    Perhaps this cultural difference is more clear in people that have traveled more than I have.

  3. MK Says:

    You are absolutely right. I have lived in 2 different regions of the U.S. – The South and the Southwest, and the cultural differences are profound with regard to race and gender, and they continue to change over time.

    You are also correct that travel broadens one’s perspective. It also spotlights what we truly value in our home culture.

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